


Notice Me

by DreamyNightStar



Category: ARGONAVIS from BanG Dream! AAside (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Consensual, Drinking, Dubious Consent, Dubiously Consensual Blow Jobs, Fluff, Forehead Kisses, Gentle Kissing, Half Drunk Nayuta, Hugs, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, Light Angst, Love Bites, M/M, Nayuta overthinking, Singing, Song - Freeform, Street Performance, Studying in Library, innocent Ren, slight wataren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:20:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26289379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamyNightStar/pseuds/DreamyNightStar
Summary: Driven by jealousy and pressure, Nayuta pushed over the formality and casual when it comes to Ren.  He pours out his feeling outside the bottle he had been keeping inside by showing a few hints.  The heart wants what it wants.  And all he desires is to only let Ren notice him.Chapter 8 is the only chapter with explicit content
Relationships: Asahi Nayuta & Nanahoshi Ren, Asahi Nayuta/Nanahoshi Ren
Comments: 20
Kudos: 89





	1. Longing

**Author's Note:**

> It's September, Nayuta month! I miss Nayuren so I'm writing this because I just miss them so much. :''  
> More tags will be put on later.

The sound of the marker scribbling on the whiteboard fills up the lecture room. Recess hour has passed. The students and lecturer were now cramping their brains and utilized their attentiveness in the class.

Right by the window, the silver-white hair boy had his hand rested on his chin. His eyes bore to the textbook but his attention lies elsewhere. The hand of his busily elaborating beautiful words and phrases. Pairing with lyrics and tune. One could easily mistake his focus lay on the historical subject and not on music. For some reason, the topic of the lecture was quite dull for Asahi Nayuta. He didn’t find it interesting so he fills his boredom with writing lyrics instead.

Time feels like it last longer, As soon as the lecturer announced the deadline of their task and dismissal, the student came back to life. Like wilted flowers bloom again after watered and care.

One by one of the students start leaving the lecture hall. Nayuta didn’t include himself as one of the crowd. His eyes lazily turned to the window. To his surprise, a familiar figure passes by. He longingly looked at him walking across the pavement with his hand full of files and a few books.

‘Here, Nanahoshi Ren...’ he muttered to himself forgetting how foolish it looks to call someone's name out of the sight.

He put his arm on the desk then lean his head there. Serenely watching Ren sitting on the bench. The tip of his fingertips started drumming to an uneven rhythm. Ren was flipping through the pages in his notes. He looks disturbed for a second and let out a single sighed.

‘What’s wrong, Nanahoshi..?’ Nayuta hand reaching out to his small figure from far. Fantasizing to hold his troubled face. But then he clasped his hand glancing at it before turning his attention back to Ren. The hollow of not having Ren beside him and saying those caring words haunted him. He picked up the pen and started to jot down the lyrics he had in his mind with the thought of him.

Music helps with everything. Nayuta had written a bunch of words just by thinking of Ren alone. It’s like sending a love letter to a person he couldn’t reach.

While scribbling down his feelings on paper, his eyes steal a look at Ren. Ren suddenly had a huge smile on him when a figure came to his seat. They talk to each other quite lively. A frowned immediately painted on Nayuta's forehead, he felt a trouble pang left his heart. Ren was talking to one of his group members. Nayuta recognizes that a person's name is Wataru. Wataru, Kenta's younger brother, seems really close to Ren.

‘Why are you smiling Nanahoshi... you never smile that way to me before.’ He admitted that Ren smiles a lot, especially to his band member. He feels his heartthrob a little of the realization. It’s unfair. It feels like Ren treated him less with care and attention. The small voice within him wanted Ren to see him as a special person in his life. Just like he did to him.


	2. The Misunderstanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenta teases Ren of what kind of person he like and Nayuta didn't like the sound of it. Not even a bit.

Outside of the library, Nayuta and Kenta were arguing about starting their band practice sooner. Nayuta doesn’t feel like studying after seeing Ren being too friendly with Wataru. He felt the uneasy feeling rested on his chest. He wanted to get rid of the feeling by singing his heart out. But Kenta persuaded him to the library together in an accused that he’ll get inspire more in writing new songs for the band.

‘Oh, Nayuta kun?’ Said Ren looking directly at Nayuta then Kenta who just a few feet away from his seat with Wataru beside him.

‘Kenta?’ Wataru eyes locked to his brother's gaze which waved his hand as a greeting.

Nayuta who appeared to be surprised of their encounter as well just shot the two boys a look. He glanced at Wataru who sit across Ren and immediately taken by jealousy. Kenta who was standing right beside him sees the look in Nayuta and just smiles knowingly. His elbow nudges on Nayuta side. ‘We should greet them.’

Nayuta looks straight ahead not wanting to show away his true feeling reflected on his face. ‘I know. But I think I’ll pass.’

‘Come on. It’s not like you’re going to die by greeting them.’ Kenta took a firm push on Nayuta back, dragging him to where Ren and Wataru seated. Nayuta responded with a grumbled but didn’t take away the offer. He wanted to get close to Ren, he just did not want to admit it.

‘I think we should offer them a seat. Don’t you think so too?’ said Ren turning his attention to Wataru when he saw Nayuta and Kenta is on their way to their seat.

‘Oi Ren.’ Said Wataru disapprovingly.

‘I think we should let them join us.’

‘My brother wouldn’t mind but I don’t think Nayuta want to.’

Their conversation died down as soon as Kenta and Nayuta came. Nayuta looking irked as usual while Kenta gave them an assuring smile.

‘What are you two doing here?’ Kenta said breaking away the silence first.

‘It’s a library. Of course we’re here for studying.’ Wataru answered him sarcastically and briefly look at Nayuta.

‘Aa I see. What a coincidence to meet you guys here.’ Kenta glance around and found that there was no empty seat left. ‘would you mind if we seat with you.’

Ren nodded moving his stuff to him so the two boys could seat on the empty seat. ‘Sure.’

‘I didn’t say I’m going to join.’ The group fell into silence when Nayuta expresses his disapproval.

‘Come on Nayuta. You and Ren can discuss this with your studies.’ Said Kenta covering the cold air he just gave away.

Nayuta's eyes met Ren who nodded at him and finally relent to join them. The way Nayuta accepted the seat because of Ren speaks volume that he only cares about what Ren think. No one else matters to him at that moment. It was awkward at first, with all four of them doesn’t really know what to talk about. The chatty one would be Kenta that just goes to Wataru side looking out what he was doing. It seems that bothering Wataru in his study had made Kenta day. 

The group of four is an odd pairing. It likes three people against one. Where the three of them get well together while the other one which was Nayuta feels out of place in it. Wataru was a good friend. He helped Ren and get along with Kenta easily. It doesn’t hard to see Wataru charm. Unlike Nayuta, Wataru can blend with two persons in Nayuta's life without any problem. He knew he was not really good at showing affection and it makes him jealous of Wataru nature.

‘Do you think the phrases of my words sound weird here?’ Ren asked Wataru. Nayuta found it absurd that Ren didn’t ask him because they’re obviously in the same major. Why ask someone that majoring in literature? Does Ren care too much of how his essay sound or obsessed with Wataru's attention? He couldn’t pin away from the latter thought somehow.

Wataru shifted to Ren's side where their shoulder almost touches. ‘Hmm, Let me see… This sounds wonderful Ren. Your words are improving.’ He smiles and Ren returned it the same. Nayuta scowled averting his focus on his book where his mind started to question what’s the point of him being there.

Kenta on the other hand was throwing more salt to his wounded jealousy. ‘Are you two dating?’

‘Where did you get that idea from?’ said Wataru.

‘The two of you look like a lover.’

Nayuta could see the slight blush on Ren’s cheeks. The sight troubled him as he turned his attention back on his notebook.

‘We’re just friends.’ Ren said.

Wataru leaned his head on his hand and stare at Ren. ‘Honestly, I would want to date Ren. He is good looking, cool, and fun to be with. Say, Ren, don’t you think you’re too irresistible sometimes.’

‘Ah, Wataru think too highly of me.’ Ren blushes further his eyes on his work anywhere from the boys stare.

Kenta leaned forward to the desk. ‘So what kind of person did Ren like?’

‘Eh, Me?’

Kenta nodded waiting with anticipation. Ren glance at Wataru who nodded and smile. The exchange of look between the both of them had been seen by Nayuta. He felt uneasy of the sight. Was it the sign of a lover? Or was it something they share as a secret? It was just a friendly gesture but Nayuta was overlooking their interaction way too much.

‘Uhm, I don’t think I have anything specific in liking someone.’ Ren said he looks up in wonder.

‘No way. There must be a type.’ Kenta pushes the question further. 

Ren scratches the side of his head. ‘Someone that is...ambitious.’

Wataru light up at the statement. ‘Ambitious huh? It reminds me of someone..don’t tell me, you like Yuto?!’

‘I do like Yuto.’

‘Eeeh!’ said wataru and Kenta at the same time.

‘uhn, without the help of Yuto I might not be here in Argonavis and meet a lot of talented bands too. I owe and look up to him a lot too. He is an amazing leader.’

Wataru didn’t blink listening to Ren's words then he rubbed his nap awkwardly. He didn’t expect to hear Ren being too straightforward to his feelings. His voice hesitated a little when he said. ‘Ren, I didn’t know you feel that deep toward Yuto.’

Ren nodded eagerly. ‘Of course, I really like Yuto.’

The sound of the pen fell from the desk resounded as soon as the words came out from Ren's mouth. Nayuta’s pen slipped from his hold and he picked it up immediately on the floor. He was taken aback when hearing Ren's confession of liking Yuto. Yuto is someone that lacks a lot in his music skill and he never sees him as a rival. Not even the slightest until today. Why did Ren like Yuto out of all people? Not to mention that they’re also in the same band. Nayuta feel remorseful, his hand subconsciously draw a straight line on his notebook multiple times at the same spot. The lines get rougher as he pressures the pointer of the pen on the paper.

Wataru was staring at Ren now. ‘Do you really mean it by liking Yuto’

‘uhn, I mean it.’ Ren said.

Kenta glanced at Nayuta checking his reaction to the situation before turning to look at Ren again. ‘Then, did Yuto know how you feel toward him?’

Ren nodded. ‘I think he knows. I often praise him for trying his best. I like how invested he is when it comes to Argonavis. He helps me overcome my fear and I want to stay by Yuto side to help Argonavis grow as well. Wataru helps me a lot too. Banri and even Rio. All of the Argonavis members are ambitious and I like that about us. Don’t you think so too Wataru?’

Realization dawning on Kenta and Wataru's face when they hear what Ren said. They exchange a glance and smile at their own assumption. Ren simply understood the words of ‘like’ as admiration and not in a romantic way. The only person who are still blind and couldn’t understand Ren’s words was Nayuta. He keeps his head on his notebook without looking at them. With his fist clamped to his notebook, his mind playing images of the possibility. What if Ren falls in love with his band member first, especially Yuto before he gets the chance to confess?

As if hearing his thought, Kenta asked Ren with a bemused look on his face. ‘Does that mean Ren will likely fall in love with anyone in Argonavis then.’

Ren stopped in his track. ‘Fall in love…?’

Wataru nudged his brother on the elbow. ‘Stop teasing him, brother. What Kenta actually means is like in a romantic way.’

‘Romantic?'

‘Yes, like a lover.’ Wataru holds Ren face with both of his hand and closes their gap. ‘That involves kissing or holding like this.’

‘Eh.’ Startled by the sudden act, Ren butthead Wataru. The agonizing pain on their forehead instantly breaks their closeness apart. Both of them groaning and rubbing their forehead at the same time. The comical view of them both had made Kenta laughing and grab Nayuta's attention.

‘Ow, ow, Ren, what was that for?’ whined Wataru.

‘Sorry, sorry! you surprise me.’

‘That what you get when you try to kiss someone Wataru.’ Said Kenta still chuckling.

Nayuta slammed his hand hard on the table, startling all three of them. ‘Can you guys shut up! Are you here to study or playing cupid’

‘Shh!’ Someone shushed Nayuta immediately. His voice was too loud and it attracts unwanted glare from some people in the library. All three of them apologized while Nayuta just let out a heavy sigh from his mouth in disapproval. Kenta gave Nayuta a look of disinterested hinting he was being unreasonable to be mad at them.

‘Does Wataru forehead alright?’ said Ren whispering to Wataru.

Wataru gave a look at Nayuta who was frowning deeply before turning his attention on Ren ‘It’s hurt less now.’

‘Ah, let me blow the pain away.’

Wataru chuckled when Ren moves closer to blow on his forehead. ‘It tickles Ren. Does this really help to ease away the pain?’

‘uhn. I’m positive.’ Ren said.

Kenta coughed at the sight of his brother and Ren. ‘You guys clearly look like a lover. Why didn’t you let me do that to you as well Wataru?’ The two siblings started to bicker a little after that leaving Ren trying to soothe their silly argument away.

On the other side, Nayuta was biting his inner cheeks. He could hear the silent scream inside his head begging to say another insulting word to Wataru and Ren. He was fuming now but the little sanity he had held him from acting out of his character.

There’s no way for Nayuta to get close to Ren by doing the same thing Wataru did. It feels unnatural to do so. He seeing green all over of the friendly affection Ren made with Wataru. The sight of it is harboring him further into dark thoughts.

What makes the whole situation even harder for him was the idea of Ren liking Yuto. He wouldn’t want to lose to Yuto or any of Argonavis members. He knew that if he didn’t act now to get Ren in his arm someone else would get him first. And he would do anything to let Ren notice him.


	3. Notice Me Trying to Win Your Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nayuta helping Ren with his study. He would do whatever it takes to please Ren. Even if he has to act a little out of his own character.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's quite short because I didn't plan to make this chapter well actually. Aaaaaaaaa and- 12/9 means-
> 
> HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NAYUTA!!!
> 
> He looks stunning in the AAside illustration. AAAAAAAaaaaaaa my baby Catboi Nayuta. Thank you for existing, your music touches my heart and I hope you'll reach to the top soon with all of AAside band as well! This is a sudden wish, don't mind me, I just really love Nayuta so much!

‘Nayuta kun, can you help with the study?’

‘What study?’ Nayuta didn’t glance at Ren, keeping his eyes on his notebook but ended up flipping to a blank page of it. He didn’t want Ren to see what he writes.

Ren fidgeting on his seat, shifting to one side to another before finally said. ‘About the newest report. Do you have any notes with you? It will be helpful and I can really use one.’

‘I don’t have any.’

‘Oh.’ There was unmistaken disappointment in Ren's voice. Like a cue, Kenta suddenly gives a small kicked on Nayuta feet. Nayuta responded with a hissed. Ren mistook Nayuta irritation was directed at him. His eyes set to the notebook in Nayuta's hand realizing he might interrupt him in his little excursion. ‘I’m sorry! Did I bother you? It’s okay, I’m totally cool if you don’t have any I just thought to ask-‘

‘Why don’t you just ask Wataru like you did before.’ Nayuta interjected still couldn’t pin the lovey-dovey thought Ren did with Wataru.

Ren didn’t take the hint of Nayuta words that held malice in it. ‘Wataru and I are in different majors. Since you’re taking Law too I thought I could ask you… Ah, It’s alright Nayuta, I don’t mind really.’ With that being said Ren leaves Nayuta on his own accord.

Out of the corner of Nayuta's eyes, he could see the trouble look in Ren trying to solve the question. Another light kick landed on his calves. He looked up at the person with a glare while Kenta just shot up his eyebrows in response. Kenta got up from his seat suddenly claiming. ‘Wataru seems to be taking his time. I’ll go check him out.’

It was cunning of Kenta to leave them both alone. Wataru had gone for a while looking for a book in the literature section. It sure took him some time to be back here again. The silence between them seems much more bearable for Nayuta. He didn’t have the feeling to compete with Wataru or pressure by Kenta. 

Now was his chance to talk to Ren. For some reason, Nayuta like the company of Ren beside him. They didn’t have to share or talk anything. But he knew he needs to make a move on Ren. If not now, then when?

Nayuta sighed then get up from his seat to stand behind Ren who was immersed in his task. ‘This one is wrong.’

‘What?’

‘Here.’ Nayuta leaned forward to Ren from his back. His hand securing on the right side of Ren seat while the other started to jot down the answer. They’re really close where Ren could hear the breathing from Nayuta in his ear clearly. It straightened the hair on his neck.

‘You should take a seat.’ Said Ren still in bewildered of Nayuta sudden intrusion.

‘Not necessary. This will be a breeze.’

‘Uhn. But-‘ he turned to look at Nayuta only to set his face an inch away from him. His lips brushing a little of Nayuta’s jaw. Startled and feel sudden electricity that jolted his senses, he quickly turned back to the paper blushing furiously at the closeness. He tried to exert his attention on the paper rather than their close proximity.

Doing so takes a lot of will and Ren fails miserably. Ren averted his attention to Nayuta's hand. His long, slender finger attentively solving the problem. For a second there, Ren thought of Nayuta hand holding a mic when he sang. He shook his head and Nayuta caught him doing so.

‘Are you disagreeing with my writing?’ He said suddenly conscious of Ren watching him write.

Nayuta was well aware of Ren odd behavior due to the closeness. He steals glances while writing, shifted closer to his stand and it makes Ren froze on his seat. It was merely an act. He wanted to see his reaction. Betting his action might spark something in Ren. Or see what Ren feels toward him. But Ren went timid and flustered all over in his seat. Nayuta found the whole situation confusing and adoring them. It was impossible not to dwell in Ren flustered figure.

Ren's hand flapped unfailingly in denial. ‘No. Not that. It’s your hand remind me when you’re singing.’

Affected by Ren’s word Nayuta stopped a little from writing but start to busy himself again by scribbling a few notes on the side. ‘My hand when singing? Did you listen to my voice or judging my hand.’ Nayuta persistence in their topic before.

‘Ah. No. Nayuta kun got it wrong. You have beautiful hands it’s hard to ignore them.’ Ren said examining his hand. ‘Compare to mine, your hand is bigger and prettier.’

Hearing this makes Nayuta hold to Ren’s wrist inspecting his palm and finger.

‘Stretched out your hand.’

‘L-like this Nayuta kun?’

Nayuta look closely at Ren's hand and saw his hand shaking a little. Wondering if the little trembles because of the closeness of embarrassment or scared of his hold? But he didn’t push the matter and retorted at his remark. ‘Liar. Stop complimenting people, they’ll get the wrong idea.’ Nayuta let go of his grasp on Ren’s wrist and averted his attention back to the question paper.

‘But It’s true.’ Ren took Nayuta's hand and put his hand on his palm. Measuring them a little kid. ‘See. I told you mine was smaller by a few inches.’

Nayuta didn’t expect Ren would act that way feels his cheeks warm a little. The way Ren just grabs his hand with a smile on his face shaken his heart a little.

Ren started to trace the lines on Nayuta's palm to distract him from their closeness. Doing so had calm Ren nerves. He could still feel the warmth from Nayuta on his side but at least he had something else he could focus on. ‘Your hand is quite rough. You must have worked really hard. Nayuta kun?’ Ren turns to look at Nayuta. He was being too carefree around him and didn’t notice the slide flush in Nayuta’s ear.

‘Nothing.’ Nayuta murmured to himself didn’t expect that he will get flustered by Ren instead.

‘Hm?’

‘Done’ Nayuta exclaim showing a perfectly done and a side note for the answer. There was a small doodle left on there as well. 

‘Woah. You’re a genius Nayuta kun.’ Ren looked at the paper and read them. His eyes stop at the cat drawing on the side of his paper then burst into a broad smile. ‘Is this a fox? It looks menacing..’

Nayuta was taken aback at Ren exclamation. A bit embarrassed that his drawing did not meet his expectation. ‘It’s not a fox.’

‘Eh, uhn, ah, it’s Nyankotaro!’ Ren laughed after figuring it out the messy cat drawing. He found the drawing adorable even it didn’t look like a cat.

‘Tch. Does it really look like a fox to you.’

Ren shook his head. ‘It looks more like Nyankotaro now. It’s cute!’

‘If you think it's weird you can just erase them away.’ Nayuta's voice was really soft as if he was whispering to himself but Ren could hear him clearly.

‘I love it, thank you Nayuta kun. It’s easier for me to remember too.’

Nayuta was savoring Ren's expression when he said his gratitude for the simple help he did for him. If only he could keep the smile forever. For multiple times now, Nayuta still hopes Ren could just feel his genuine feelings by the look of his. Or how he acts much softer to Ren. Can’t you see that I’m desperately wanted you to notice me?

Feeling the gaze in Nayuta's eyes had made Ren flustered. He looks down before finally spoke with his eyes straining back to Nayuta. ‘Is there something on my face?’

‘Tch.’

‘Nayuta kun, where are you going?’ Ren instantly gets up from his seat when Nayuta who took a step back from Ren.

‘None of your business.’

‘I’ll wait for you then.’

‘Why would you wait?’

‘There’s another thing I wanted you to help with.’

‘Can’t you do it on your own, Moron?’

Ren frowned, disliking Nayuta tone and choice of words that sound mean to his ear. As much as the idea of Nayuta leaving disturb him he didn’t like how throwing his word like he was pathetic. ‘It’s fine if you don’t want to help. I can do it by myself.’

Nayuta gave Ren a look before took a spot beside Ren seat uninvited. ‘No need. Give me your pen.’

‘I don’t want to. You call me a moron, I think I better off by myself‘

‘Just sit down will you.’ Nayuta took Ren's hand gently and placing him back to his seat. ‘I’m offering you my help, don’t question it.’

‘It feels like you only help me because you want to shut me off.’

‘No.’

‘I'm right, didn’t I?’

Nayuta glare at Ren. ‘Where did those fancy thoughts come from?’

‘By your look?’

‘What’s wrong with my look?’ Nayuta never care about how he looked to others as long as his music stand, but when Ren said so he became self-conscious.

‘You seem like you didn’t want to be here.’

‘Does it bothers you that much if I look insincere?’ Nayuta huffed and Ren shook his head immediately. He gets that Ren affected by his look. ‘Then what should I do?’ he couldn’t believe that he actually said the words out loud to Ren.

‘Can I see Nayuta kun smile?’ Ren grinned making the corner of Nayuta lips twitch a little.

‘Smile?’

‘If you smile then I might feel your sincerity.’

‘Fine.’ Nayuta relented without having any second thoughts. He will do anything to impress and make Ren notice him. It took Nayuta a moment of silence to gather his feeling before looking straight at Ren’s eyes. A small smile planted on his lips minutes later. The crooked, awkward smile of his was genuine and attractive enough to sweep Ren off his feet. Ren knew Nayuta is not a smiling type. To see Nayuta smile at him that way feels special somehow. They were staring at each other for quite a long time before Ren breaks away first with a flush on his cheeks.

‘You really did smile for me…’

Nayuta let out a single cough unaware of Ren's reaction. ‘What? You the one who told me to smile’

Ren nodded. ‘But I don’t mind. You have taken me by surprise. Was it weird if I find you attractive with just a small smile?’ Nayuta flustered his eyes widen a bit of Ren statement. Was a smile enough to make Ren like him?

Ren saw the slight change on Nayuta's face added. ‘Ah, I take back my words, you look good with or without a smile. I’m just poking you a little before.’ He curt briefly. ‘Don’t worry I won’t tell a soul.’

‘Do you really have to be that blunt?!’

Ren chuckled saying sorry profusely at Nayuta. An odd fluff ball indeed Nayuta thought. The soft cheery sound of Ren’s laughter made Nayuta smile but he didn’t realize that he was doing it.

If a heart could talk, Ren probably hearing Nayuta complimented how beautiful his smile and laughter mean to him. But Nayuta let his mind take over his heart. Ignoring how his heartbeat moves and just reply Ren’s remark with a sneer. To have someone to accept him for whom he is a person is a blessing to Nayuta. This had ignited the feeling he had on Ren more.


	4. Conscious and Doubt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when Nayuta thought his day won’t get any weirder, it begins to take a turn into something he did not expect. He saw Ren without his scarf and get protective. Everything that Nayuta did was because of his conscious but the small voice of doubt held him back. Maybe Ren could reassure him to decide better whether he should sing one of his written songs and do the street performance together.

Studying was a matter of passing a test, Nayuta's thoughts. Until someone broke his believes. Ren was a good, hardworking student that dedicated his life to it even though he had his band schedule to attend. When someone does good, we tend to follow their footstep. And Nayuta feels it with Ren in his study. If they ever did any study together again he would gladly be there to help Ren. He was grateful that they are in the same major because he can use that excuse to meet Ren more now.

The four of them decided that they should walk together until they reach their separate way. Wataru and Ren were walking in front while Kenta and Nayuta follow behind. The position they were in was perfect in Nayuta's eyes. He could pet his eyes on him as they walk,

The warm scarf around Ren’s neck had warmed him a little. Seeing Ren wearing one of his possessions feels like he is winning a prize of having him. It was a selfish thought but he like the lies lie in it nevertheless. Ren with his scarfs on. That’s the only thing living in Nayuta's mind. He begins to recall how he gave it to Ren. The color of his cheeks warms a little at the thoughts.

* * *

As soon as they got out of the library, Nayuta notice that Ren did not wear any scarf on his neck. The cold wind outside was quite harsh. It troubles him if Ren catches a cold.

‘ _Nanahoshi. I want to have a word_.’ Nayuta didn’t wait for Ren and just pulled him by the wrist. The grasp was firm as he dragging him to the locker where he kept his things inside.

‘ _Nayuta kun, what’s wrong?_ ’ said Ren in bewilderment.

The warmth in Ren's hand gave away an assuring feel to him. He wonders whether the feelings were mutual. His hand still holding on to Ren while keeping himself busy to open up the locker. When the locker unlocks, Nayuta's eyes shot to his scarf that rested on top of his bag. He hesitated for a few secs but then grabbed it, pulling Ren closer and put it around his neck carefully.

‘ _It’s cold outside wear something warmer. You’re going to get your voice hoarse that way_.’

 _‘But what about you?_ ’

Nayuta tucking the scarf neatly, ignoring Ren question. It was a tense situation for both of them. Ren feels love by the affection that it was hard for him to keep his eyes on Nayuta.

Hesitated a bit, Nayuta gathers his courage and lets his fingers brushing to Ren’s side face that instantly brings attention to him. He was staring with his finger brushing Ren’s cheeks, earlobe then feeling his soft bang. His eyes darted to Ren’s lips that parted up a bit.

 _‘Nayuta kun…?_ ’

Ren's voice breaks the spell of Nayuta’s mind and he turned his gaze to Ren's eyes. He scowled looking at his side before placing a brief kiss on Ren’s forehead. It was done in a flash and Ren didn’t realize it until Nayuta took a hold of his wrist.

‘ _Don’t be this reckless again_.’

‘ _uhn_.’ Ren’s ear started to show a crimson color of the warm peck on his forehead.

Nayuta waited for Ren to point out his brash act but he didn’t utter a single word. That just frustrated him more. ‘ _Nanahoshi._ ’

‘ _Yes_?’

Nayuta stare at Ren clueless face. ‘ _Don’t you have anything to say?_ ’

‘ _Uhn, Thank you for teaching me Nayuta. It was fun. We should do it again._ ’

‘ _Is that all_?’

‘ _I will give this scarf back to you when we met. I’ll give you a call_.’

Nayuta didn’t believe Ren didn’t say anything of him giving a kiss on his forehead. And yes, he helps Ren with his study, but he only did it with Ren. Why didn’t Ren asked him why he accepted in helping him? Why? Just why?

‘ _Nayuta kun_?’

Nayuta still staring at Ren's mind drifted to the idea of Ren with others. If Ren was this careless with him it is not possible that the other Argonavis member could also kiss him. And innocent Ren didn’t mind of people holding him. What kind of naivety that Ren possess? People could take advantage of him.

‘ _Nayuta kun? Earth to Nayuta?_ ’ Ren tilted his head to the side inspecting Nayuta who were still drowning in his own insecurity.

‘ _Wait._ ’ Nayuta’s hand grab Ren’s wrist firmer pulling him closer gently. He leaned to Ren’s ear whispering. ‘Don’t give in to people that easily unless you mean it.’

‘ _Give in?_ ’

‘ _Do you understand?_ ’

Ren eyebrows furrowed. ‘ _I don’t get it…_ ’

Nayuta pulled Ren closer into an embrace, snuggling his head on Ren’s shoulder and inhaling his soft scent. ‘ _Are you always this naïve…_ ’ he tucked Ren tighter when he whispered his concern.

‘ _Did you say something, Nayuta kun, I didn’t catch them._ ’ Ren's hand was trapped on Nayuta's chest. He could hear Nayuta soft breathing and heartbeat. ‘Nayuta are you hurt? If you’re unwell, you could tell me.’

There was so much more than hurt. Words are delicate things to Nayuta. It could destroy him if he voices out his cares to Ren. Nayuta couldn’t bet on the weight of it yet so he just grumble. ‘ _Have more care in yourself, would you_.'’

‘ _I will. You should do the same too_.’ Ren confessed still unsure of why Nayuta seems vulnerable and too kind around him. He assumed that the care was his way to express as a friend.

‘ _Ren!_ ’ Wataru's voice from far could be heard. A soft step but a hurried one came closer to where they were. And just like that Nayuta was back to his cold self and pulling away from Ren.

* * *

How he wishes he could turn back time now. Nayuta didn’t expect that they ended up walking together until they reach their own destination. If Wataru and Kenta saw the scarf on Ren's neck, they probably just go along and pretended they didn’t see them. 

The cold autumn breeze blowing a bit on Ren’s hair and Nayuta notices every ounce of his fluffy hair dance as he walks. His body was there but his soul sails into a deep conscious. The corner of Ren’s lips formed to a smile was bedazzling. He was content to see him up this close.

Wataru broke down the silence by brushing his shoulder to Ren's side. ‘Ren~ Remember we used to have a street performance here with Yuuto.’

Ren nodded enthusiastically at the statement. The street performance as a surprise they made for Yuuto. A memory that sure will stick on his mind forever.

‘If I remember correctly you’re doing a duet right? Said Kenta.

‘How did you know?’

‘Apparently one of the spectators took a video of you guys singing. It’s a memorable watch.’

They’re talking about the street performance Nayuta had with Yuuto. The duet had already lived at the back of Nayuta's mind. He had watched it before and Kenta was right. It was a memorable performance. Their voice, the sound of the guitar, and harmony compliments each other well. It’s like they’re fated to meet and sing in a band. The dynamic in Ren's voice never ceases to amaze Nayuta. He admitted he feels jealous a bit when he saw a video of them. But he shook those feelings for now and just appreciating every little moment he still has to be this close to him.

Ren suddenly stopped walking looking at all three of them ‘I know since we still have a few times to kill, why not we sing a song here.’

‘The four of us?’ Wataru replied skeptically.

‘Right!’

‘Well...’ Kenta gave Nayuta a look and they all knew that it’s depend on Nayuta's decision to join them.

Ren who saw the exchange immediately went to Nayuta side, ‘Nayuta kun let’s do it. I haven’t had any chance to sing with you for quite some time now. It’ll be a great feat don’t you agree?

‘It’s almost dark.’ Nayuta complaint void with any emotion but deep down his heart skip a beat when Ren stated he wants to sing with him.

Ren looks down at his watch ‘We still have an hour more before dawn.’

Nayuta didn’t utter a single word but only stare at Ren who was still beaming. That smile of his that flutter the living in Nayuta’s stomach. He sighed softly then turning his attention back to Ren. ‘What’s in me?’

Nayuta never had a street performance before with anyone. It was a great deal to take this offer. The experience and the thrills of it are enough to give a turning point for Nayuta. And to top it all, he could listen and sing along with Ren. A win-win situation that benefits him more anyway. His questions before were simply to see Ren's opinions of it.

With one hand briskly nibbling on the end of the scarf, Ren looks upwards in his thinking expression. It was a conscious move but Nayuta found it alluring. His eyes softened when Ren didn’t look his way.

‘I can’t think of anything but- I bet you’ll have fun!’ Ren exclaimed.

‘Huh?’ Nayuta exasperated didn’t buy Ren's simple answer.

Ren nodded looking directly at Wataru for support. ‘It actually helps me grow a little more as a singer. Wataru and I have fun doing it. I’m sure you will too’

‘Tch. Don’t let me down then.’

‘Does this mean you agree?’

‘Don’t waste your breath by asking me twice. It’ll be more befitting if you show it to me instead.’

‘Definitely! I bet that you won’t regret it.’

The four of them settle to find the exact spot where Ren and Yuuto used to do their street performance before. They discuss a bit of what song to sing. Remembering the lyrics and song he had on his notebook, Nayuta took a look at it and silently contemplated whether he should sing one of it for Ren.

‘What’s that?’

A voice behind Nayuta back startled him on the spot. He quickly turns around to meet Ren who was curiously peeking through the notebook. He sighed deeply and gave his best glare on but Ren didn’t faze by the look at all.

‘Is it some songs you composed?’ Ren said.

‘Sort of.’

‘Oh! Can I hear it then?’

‘If you want to hear it, I’ll need to sing solo.’

‘Solo…’ Ren drew his brows together deep in thoughts. ‘Ah, it must be Gyroaxia's new song. You’re really talented Nayuta kun to write amazing songs on your own. I wish I could be like you.’

‘Fool.’ Nayuta murmured to himself. Ren shouldn’t try to be him. He already enough in Nayuta's eyes.

‘I think it’s cool if you could sing it. A performance like this could reach an immense number of people. The song will be recognized by the public sooner too. With your talent, I bet it would leave a lasting impression. ’ Wataru chided interrupting the two boys' conversation.

Kenta who heard them jump into the wagon. ‘Though I didn’t like to bring down the expectation written song should be made on the studio first and get authorized. To avoid any unwanted issues-plagiarism. The contract we had too, you know the drill with Mashu.’

‘You guys can’t just sing the song you write without his permission? That’s horrible.’ Ren sound disbelief totally against the rules where he found that artists should be free to express themselves. It feels like Mashu is violating their privileged as an artist.

Wataru holds Ren by the shoulder amused by his beguiles. ‘What Kenta mean is leaked any of the songs before the actual release Ren.’

‘Mostly. But-he didn’t say anything about street performance. And I’m in charge so I say you can, Nayuta. I’ll cover up for you if anything happens.’

Nayuta only let silent answer them while his eyes staring in his notebook. The words he wrote by heart while thinking of Ren, would it ever reach to him?

He knew it would. He never had a doubt in his music. But it was always different when it comes to Ren. What’s with Ren that every little of his opinion matter to him?

‘That’s good news, right, Nayuta kun? I would love to hear you sing it too.’ Ren said looking at Nayuta with anticipation.

Nayuta glance at Ren that was still beaming like an idiot. His idiot. ‘Tch, I’ll think about it.’

‘Great!’ I'm looking forward to it. Let’s do our best.’


	5. Silent Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nayuta finally sing the song he made for Ren. Would it ever reach him like he imagines? Or was it going to be another failed attempt in trying to make Ren notice him?

Nayuta didn’t remember how things turn out to be this way. The breeze of autumn air makes him shuddered a little. Doubts have been running wild on the back of his head of how obnoxious he had been around Ren. He had bashfully let Ren have his scarf leaving him with cold instead. But as soon as he saw Ren hand wrapping around his small figure, the anonymity of his doubts wash away instantly. An assuring feeling surrounded him when he knew he could help Ren lessen the cold somehow even it just only a scarf, to begin with.

It doesn’t matter to Nayuta anymore as he was standing there with Ren, Wataru, and Kenta almost ready for the street performance. It was an unexpected turn. He didn’t know the journey of just studying in the library could lead him to an extent of having this small performance. Something uncalled for but the kind of distraction that he needed. His mind that was once tainted with jealousy was now warm up with the cozy intention of having some little more time to spend with Ren.

Both Wataru and Kenta had their guitar in hand adjusting the string to its rightful place. Kenta turned to look at Wataru who feel the gaze and reply it with a smile. Then both of their eyes rested on the two singers standing side by side.

Ren took a single deep breath and look at Nayuta ‘Ready?’

‘Whenever you are.’ Grunted Nayuta with his eyes plastered at the distance. His smug look and his side profile look appealing to Ren somehow. There was something about Nayuta that seem so attractive. Sometimes the image of him living in Ren's head when he’s not thinking.

Maybe because Ren admires Nayuta too much. He blamed it on Nayuta's charm that moves him. Anyone could fall for Nayuta, Ren thought. Even though his detached personality could also drive people away. But not for Ren.

Some people had already stood in front and a few feet away from them. Staring, wondering, and expecting a good performance that would lighten their evening. Ren could feel their gaze and felt goose bump running down his flesh. The joy and overwhelming feeling consumed him. Ren shook his feelings away and put his attention back to the matter at hand. ‘One.. two..’ Ren whispered while his leg tapping along. ‘Three..’

The song begins with Ren's clear voice reaching out to people around them. Then a sound of guitar string on Wataru and Kenta gave a lively and upbeat sound to support the two singers. All of them exchange glances while they perform and feel connected to one another. Their voices harmonize and a crowd started to gather in a circle. People coming in tune with their sound. Some was nodding their head along while others just watch with careful eyes and admiration. There were a few snaps of photos that were taken and video as well.

Nayuta could feel the eyes of people lies on him. The number didn’t scare him in fact he feels the opposite. He could feel the adrenaline rush of excitement running down his spine. Spectators usually standing a few feet far but they’re close to him here. A different vibe but the bar he set was still high as usual. He would do his best. He would let his voice be heard. Singing was everything to him.

They sang two songs. One with a slow tempo and the other one with a stronger beat. The contrasts in Nayuta and Ren's voice suit the song well. They perform the songs and almost lost track of time. The sun almost went down where they could see the beautiful golden color of the sky and bird flying about to go back to their nest. The light from the sun encased Ren cheeks and hair. He looked radiant and lively in Nayuta's eyes. A mesmerizing look one couldn’t simply ignore. It took his breath away as he swallowed down his thoughts.

Looking at Ren had distracted his singing a little and there was something burning inside him that he would sing his best so that Ren could look his way. It was a naïve thought and he was well aware of his feeling for Ren may turn a bit dire. When the song almost reached the end, Ren could feel Nayuta eyes on him and look back with a smile. That smile that made the corner of Nayuta lips twitch a little. Slowly Nayuta tore his gaze away from Ren and averted his attention to the crowd. The sound of guitar plucking ended then Ren broke down the silence. ‘Thank you for listening to us’

Cheer uproar by the crowd. Some people called them by their names and band. It was not a surprise but still gave a little goosebump to them. Their fame after the live fest had become a stepping stone for their music to be known to the world. A goal where they share held tight to their heart. Someone suddenly broke down the cheer with a shout. It was soft but getting high pitch where everyone could clearly hear the word “Encore.” As if being possessed by one person, the other begins to chant along with the words for the four boys to sing another song.

Nayuta took a quick single breath at the moment. His expectation of their performance was exactly the same thing he had felt at this moment. The last time he sings with Ren seems like months ago and to think that their performance could stir this amount of crowd felt surreal to him.

‘That song. Would you want to sing it?’ said Kenta adjusting the frame of his glasses and look at the crowd before finally rested his eyes on Nayuta.

Instead of looking back, Nayuta turns his attention to Ren waiting for him to say something. The song he was about to sing was something he made for Ren. If Ren didn’t want to hear it then there’s no point in him to sing the song he wrote. His opinion means a lot to Nayuta.

“Un. I want to hear Nayuta singing. Just one song.” Ren exclaimed while nodding with his puppy eyes caught him off guard.

“Just one.” Nayuta let out a soft sigh, content to hear the enthusiasm in Ren. He took a breath before finally voicing out. ‘Next song.’ He paused and the crowd went into silent immediately like obeying to his command. ‘called ‘Silent Confession. Please hear me out.’

Soft autumn breezes had made his hair flutter a little and Nayuta close his eyes in response. As soon as the song begins, Nayuta's hand absent-mindedly went to hold his chest. He could feel his heartbeat beat a bit faster. It was strange. To care over the trivial matter of confession and rejection. A shadow of anxiousness trapping him even though he knew that his song might not break into Ren naive wall. He probably too lightheaded to understand his lyrics. But Nayuta still holding on to a string of hope. Maybe, just maybe, Ren would get the hint of the lyrics was meant for him all along.

Nayuta opens his mouth, letting his voice be heard by the crowd and especially by Ren. In his heart, he silently prays that his song will reach out to Ren and let him notice how much he adored him.

* * *

If an angel exists then this surely means a voice of one. Nayuta's voice came out softer than his usual style. A combination of soft and raspy voice of hope, desperation, and melancholy emotion take over the bearing. It was like seeing an entirely different person and he gave the impression of yearning. It feels like he had been carrying those lyrics all along which touches everyone who listens to him.

Ren closes his eyes, drowning in the melody and Nayuta soothing voice. It was a sorrowful but kind of song that fills your heart with questions. It’s like running your hand through cold water. It pricks your skins but the feeling gradually took over you. And before you know it, you already engulfed in the pool of wistfulness of an unrequited lover.

> ‘Under the cloudless sky
> 
> I couldn’t help wishing I could see you
> 
> But when I did, it only leads me to despair,
> 
> I was left in the frown of not having you.
> 
> That smile you wear to other
> 
> Could you stop doing that
> 
> Could you just look my way instead?’

When the lyrics hit Ren turn to look at Nayuta who already had his eyes on him. It caught Ren off guard as he did not expect to see the intense gaze in Nayuta. The only thing he could think of a reason due to Nayuta just gets in character when he sings his song. There was nothing else could explain of the look thought Ren.

> ‘Your presence
> 
> Under no spell at all and I’m captivated
> 
> Worrying over the howls of possessing you
> 
> Things I shouldn’t frown on
> 
> Like a fool I’m still falling for you.
> 
> This hole in my heart, so widely open.
> 
> Because wanting you is a selfish feat
> 
> For I’m not your best suitor, I can’t stop
> 
> No I can’t stop comparing myself to other.
> 
> I tell myself to give up but
> 
> I can only think of you.
> 
> So it has to be you for me

The words left Ren speechless. Nayuta looks like he’s drowning. He longing for a particular someone to acknowledge his existence. It sounds like a love song. A lover. Who was it? Ren feels his heartbeat move strangely at the words. The lyrics could only mean two things. The feeling Nayuta had on or he wrote it as a request. But Ren knew that most of the songs Nayuta wrote were something he held close to his heart.

Does this mean Nayuta is in love with someone? Who?

Ren couldn’t look away from Nayuta, it was like he was spellbound to Nayuta voice and lyrics. He tries to smile at him but only came out as a frown. They were staring at each other for a moment before Nayuta breaks away from the stare and looks back at the crowd. The pools of his eyes hold a great passion like he tries to overcome a great wave of the sea. He was frowning a little. It’s difficult to comprehend but Ren saw the trouble his gaze held.

> ‘You probably too naive
> 
> You were too naive
> 
> Yet I’m still here
> 
> Yet I’m still waiting
> 
> Maybe the table turn
> 
> Maybe I’m the naive bird
> 
> For I sing this song wanting you to notice me
> 
> If love is a blessing things
> 
> Then why did feel like a curse
> 
> I’ve never been cut like this,
> 
> And you’re the only person who ever shaken me
> 
> For me it’s always you
> 
> From the start to the end.
> 
> So could you just look at me
> 
> Notice Me
> 
> That’s all I ever want from you.

Ren self consciously clenched his fist on his side. Nayuta is hurting. Why? Who hurt you? Are you in love? You did but with who? Did that person hurt you? Ren shook his head. He shouldn’t get mad over the affair that Nayuta had. It was none of his business. Besides, Nayuta would definitely hate it if he prying his nose to matter he does not belong to. The songs held deep meaning to it. Of a confession to a person, he could not reach.

* * *

As soon as the song comes to an end, a heavy silent crept within the crowd. After a few minutes left then a cheer confiscated the atmosphere. Nayuta took a long look at the crowd then let his eyes turn to the person beside him. Ren's attention never left Nayuta.

Maybe Nayuta imagining things because he sees the quick flash of the smile on Ren's lips were still there but it didn’t reach his eyes. Ren quickly swift his expression back to his neutral self. Smiling brightly to him.

There was an intense stare going on between both of them. Ren suddenly came crashing to Nayuta's side and gave him a forceful hug. Eyes went wide, Nayuta swallows down his fear and expectation. He didn’t understand Ren's sudden reaction.

“Did Ren finally notice him?”

‘Nanahoshi..’ Nayuta didn't know how to respond to the sudden embrace. His hand still on his side unsure of where to place it. He had hug Ren before, sure, but it feels different when the role change and Ren the one who makes the first move.

‘Seeing you that way made me feel uneasy.’ The voice that came out of Ren's mouth was distant, his head still buried on Nayuta's neck. Ren tightens his hold around him sending the hair on Nayuta neck straighten. It amazes him of how much Ren hold could send a shiver down his guts.

‘What do you mean?’ Nayuta muttered afraid if he asks too much it’ll lead him to disappointment.

‘I didn’t like seeing you get hurt.’ said Ren.

Nayuta brows furrowed but still didn’t move or push Ren away. ‘Do you think I’m hurting?’

Ren nodded vigorously and the embrace seems to make more sense to Nayuta. Ren pities him. ‘What the song meant to you?’ Nayuta whispered only for him to hear. 

Ren took a few minutes to collect his thoughts and words before finally answer. ‘A confession to someone that is oblivious to your existence. Something you wanted to reach but you couldn’t. That person is hurting you isn't it Nayuta?’

‘what would you say if I want that person?’

‘That person did not deserve you Nayuta kun.

‘I don’t need you to pity me Nanahoshi.’

’No. I’m not.’ Ren turned to look at Nayuta right on his eyes that only convince Nayuta suspicion more.

‘You are-you pity me.’

‘NO.’ Ren shook he still had his hand around Nayuta. The crowd who saw the exchange between the two boys started to whisper. But they were too immersed with their own fear. Nayuta fear to be seen as weak, while Ren afraid of seeing Nayuta getting hurt. Trapped in their own world that the stare and whisper from others did not waver them. ‘That person you sing the song for, who was it? That person shouldn’t hurt you. Why would they do that to you? Nayuta Kun deserves better things and so much more. If you ever get hurt again you could tell me. I’ll be more than happy to help you. Really.’

Nayuta feels disappointed in Ren’s reaction. Ren didn’t get his confession in the song at all. In fact, Ren thought Nayuta was hurting because of someone else. He was hurting but he also finds comfort in Ren. He suddenly wanted to blame himself because the choices of words he use in the song. He looks at Ren when he sings the entire song. Why can’t Ren get it yet?

‘Nanahoshi you-‘

‘You guys have been clinging to each other for a while now. Is everything alright?’ interrupted Wataru. Looking between the both of them with his forehead creases. A few murmured from crowd still haven’t given away yet so Wataru took this opportunity to step forward and end their small performance. Kenta helps along as well just right by his brother's side and support him.

On the other hand, Ren finally gets back to reality. He let go of his hold on Nayuta but then looks at him for a minute quickly added. ‘Let’s pinky swear. If there’s anything hurting you, you can turn to me and I’ll be there to help you.’

Nayuta baffled unsure of the sudden intake. ‘I’m not a four-year-old kid-‘

Ren didn’t wait for Nayuta's approval and just too his hand and wrapped his pinker finger with his. ‘There. Now, I Nanahoshi Ren swear that I’ll be there on your side. Tell me or call me anytime Nayuta Kun. Let me help you as much as I can.’

Nayuta couldn’t get mad at Ren's oblivious self. He couldn’t bring himself to be angry at that smile. That beautiful smile of his that he cherishes dearly.

> **_‘I don’t want any help, Nanahoshi Ren. I don’t want you to pity me. The only help I want was to have you in my arm.’_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m having a massive writer's block over this chapter and it sits on my draft for too long. plus writing short verses is something I’ve neglected before and I’m quite afraid of what it looks like in reader pov. so I keep on rewriting things and some of the words and certain scenes are inspired/also taken a bit by a song called The hole by King Gnu. Check it out if you’re interested. Hope you enjoy reading this as much as I do in writing them. :D


	6. Misfit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the street performance end, the boys decided to take a break and have plenty of rest inside the konbini store. Ren was being extra nice to Nayuta that making him question his motives and there was something going on between Ren and Wataru that put him on the edge.

It was already dark and they should be going by now but instead of doing so, they ended up inside the family mart. Kenta insisted they should take a break first. Nayuta could protest the whole ordeal but shut away his opinion when Wataru and Ren agreed to it. He wouldn’t want to be the one who broke away their fun. Or let Ren feel disappointed.

Another occasion that Nayuta didn’t plan. His whole day had felt like a roller coaster waiting for the high moment to break him. Spending his whole day with Ren and his friend is not something he would expect at all. He doubts his day will end up wrong. But a hunch tells him that there was something more waiting ahead of him that day.

‘I bought you coffee.’

His thoughts wash away instantly as Ren walk to his seat with a cup of coffee in his hand. Nayuta was taken by surprise by Ren's kindness. Coffee? His interest in drink should have been known by his band member only. Unless if Ren notices him or learning the fact from someone else.

Ren hands it over to him and he gently took it where their hand touch. It lingered for mere minutes more than it should. Nayuta noticed it let out a single cough but Ren was unaware of the flush in Nayuta cheeks.

‘Did you have a sore throat?’

‘What? No. Are you thick in the head-‘Nayuta held his tongue when he sees the genuine concern in Ren gaze?

‘Did you have a sore throat? I’ll get you something else.’

‘Sore throat...’Nayuta mumbled where Ren couldn’t make sense out of it. He simply blushed over what happened before not because of him not looking well. ‘There are hundreds of reasons for it and you said I have sore throat..’

‘Did I buy the wrong drink? Your face seems a bit flushed. Are you alright Nayuta kun?’

Nayuta turned his gaze away from the floor to the coffee. Distracted and still baffled by the situation. He didn’t want to elaborate further and just stare at the drink. The pitch-black coffee and the aroma of it seep into his wake. Soothing his mind and lifting him off the ground. Coffee is like a majestic touch to his soul. Nayuta was staring at it for a moment before finally blurted out the words. ‘Why did you buy me this?’ He tore away his attention from the coffee to Ren. Startled, he was taken aback by Ren expression who seems concerned with his brows furrowed and holding his hand like he was praying for affirmation of the coffee he bought for him.

Maybe it better to say thank you and not questioning Ren motifs but he just couldn’t help it.

Ren glance at the coffee, disturb and a bit worried before finally voicing out. ‘Is it too hot?’

‘No.’

‘Is it because the color seems a bit dull?’

Nayuta gave a quick look at the coffee again as an impulse to the question but then quickly turn back to Ren. Annoyed. As if being caught being too care over it. ‘No’ he replied looking Ren directly in the eye.

‘Uhm.. does that mean you didn’t like it?’

‘I’m just asking.’ He replies immediately showing hints of impatience. Ren's question was ridiculously cute and confusing. Nayuta hasn’t tasted it yet but he already worries about the taste.

Ren's eyebrows shot upward at the take and he broke into a relieved smile. Seemingly please that Nayuta didn’t hate or his coffee didn’t get to his liking. ‘I heard if from Daimon. He told me that you like coffee so I thought you’ll want one as a drink. Coffee can help boost your mood. At least that what Daimon told me’

Nayuta blink hearing Daimon name. ‘You talk to him?’

‘During the weekend. I work for him at the cafe. It just a part-time job. And it was nice working there plus Daimon is a caring and gentle person too so it was cool working with him.’

Nayuta frowning a bit at Ren explanation. That explains why he saw Ren on his way to the cafe the other day. Ren is working with Daimon and they been talking about him. What kind of conversation did Ren have with him? The warmth of the coffee cup snapped him back from his mind. There are a lot of possibilities there. It doesn’t mean Ren took care of his liking. They probably just have a small conversation where his name popped up. Besides, it was in Ren nature to be caring over everyone around him. Nayuta sighed suddenly feel he is not special in Ren’s life. Still, he hasn’t tasted the coffee yet, it probably didn’t taste as great as Daimon. He blows a little at the drink throwing off the steam into the cold air then took a sip of it.

Ren was still standing there, hand clasped together waiting for his comment.. ‘How does it taste?’

‘Not bad.’ Said Nayuta truthfully the coffee taste a bit bland, lacking a bit in taste and only rich in aroma. A beauty in it look but empty fill inside. Coffee is his specialty, he could easily differ which one is good by just a single sip. And this coffee definitely far from his liking.

‘Thank goodness...’ Ren sighed in relief watching closely as the person in front of him took another sip of the drink.

‘You don’t have to go this long to impress me.’

‘I thought it would please you so I bought one. I’m glad you like them thought.’

Nayuta let silent resided them both while he took another sip of the coffee. Wondering. wouldn’t it be better if Ren just gives him mineral water or warm tea? He took a look at Ren who still standing beside him, beaming in delight. The coffee didn’t taste great. But Ren smile and the thought of him buying it to please him is enough for Nayuta.

‘Ah, I’ll go help Wataru find something to eat for a bit. I’ll be back.’ With that Ren run off looking for Wataru leaving Nayuta on his own. Nayuta just blink his eyes and watch as Ren go. He sighed softly and took another sip of the drink. Ren sure is an unpredictable person.

* * *

Between the shelves of the store. Wataru and Ren were looking at the price tag while choosing what to buy for their food. Wataru had given Ren a tea drink in a bottle and Ren opened it immediately to quench away his thirst. His clumsy act had a stain of the tea on the corner of his lips. Wataru who happened to look at Ren at the moment chuckle found the amusement in it.‘You’re so clumsy, Ren.’

Ren's eyebrows shot upward still unaware of what brings a little spirit to Wataru's face.

‘Here’ Wataru move closer and wipe away the stain on Ren's lips making Ren close on eyes as a response. ‘There’ A humor still twinkling in Wataru eyes and voice when he saw the blush in Ren.

‘If you’re going to make that face, I might end up doing something more.’ Wataru said teasingly.

‘More? Like what?’

‘We’ve discussed this before Ren. That lover thing remember.’

‘Lover?More?’

‘Yep. That it is Ren~’ Wataru exclaimed in a sing a song voice cupping Ren face now their eyes locking to each other.

‘That involving-?’ Wataru lips perk up to Ren's lips indicating a kissing sign.

‘Kissing?’ Ren breathed aware that their face just inches away.

Wataru nodded enjoying the crimson in Ren’s cheek flaring up a little at the state they’re in. ‘So what can you made up when someone holds you like this?’

‘They want a kiss?’

‘Exactly.’

‘Isn’t it kissing only legal if you like each other..? Why would you want to kiss me? I thought you always like Yuuto... Ah, I didn’t want to get in the way between the both of you. But-Does it means you like me?’

Ren's answer had let Wataru speechless. The answer to his means Ren knew that Wataru had a heart for Yuuto. Ren isn’t as naive as it seems. He probably just a bit too oblivious to hints. He broke down into a laugh then Ren pinched cheeks. ‘Cheeky Ren.’

‘That’s hurt!’ said Ren pouting in response.

* * *

Waiting for Ren and the other to get back to their seat feel forever to Nayuta. He tired of waiting and try to look for Ren instead. Maybe he could have a small conversation with him.

‘Nana-‘ Nayuta words stuck in his throat. He saw Ren closing one eye while letting Wataru brush his lips using his thumb. He quickly turns around and hides letting his hand rested on his chest. Feeling his heartbeat moves frantically. The image of what he saw crawling the fear he had set under his suspicion on the two boys.

Wataru hand on Ren's lips. Ren's lips...Did they kiss..?

‘If you’re going to make that face, I might end up doing something more.’

‘More? Like what?’

The conversation between the two boys could be heard clearly in Nayuta’s ear. It drives him on the edge. ‘Tch...’ he grunted and took his leave before Wataru and Ren could notice him. Overheard the two boys' conversation had already shredded him to pieces.

Nayuta walk past Kenta who had both of his hands full of food and drinks. ‘I’m back with some snacks. Wait, Nayuta… why are you in hurry. We should at least say our farewell... Oi Nayuta.’

Nayuta pace quickened, he didn’t bother to look back, wait, or hear the explanation of what he saw. Ren let Wataru touch his lips. What were they doing? Kissing? They were kissing. There was no explanation that could answer what he saw. But why? His hand still clutching his chest. It feels something within him had broken. Nayuta brows knitted into a frown what he saw just confirm one thing. Ren didn’t care if people touch him. Does it mean Wataru already win Ren's heart before he did? If what he saw was true then it means everything was too late for Nayuta. Mad. This was all mad. But he still cares about it. He wants Ren. He really does. But he felt it was impossible for him to get him. The chase should be easy and he didn’t expect that he would be the one who gets hurt this badly.

* * *

Looking back and forth between his brother and his friend, Kenta stuck in choosing who he should prioritize first. His hand absentmindedly adjusts the frame of his glass and sighed in disbelief. Chasing Nayuta seems more reasonable than explaining to his little brother of their disappearance. But he chooses the letter. He’ll catch up to Nayuta soon enough and since he didn’t want to worry his brother. With a heavy step, Kenta immediately went to his brother's side.

‘There you are, we were just discussing the performance we had before. It was great, I think we should plan to do it again with a full band. What do you think about-? What’s wrong? You look trouble.’

Ren who saw the hesitation and no sight of Nayuta on his seat begins to worry. ‘Kenta. Where’s Nayuta?’

‘Don’t worry about him. He didn’t feel well so he got off first.’

A flash of memory seeps into Ren's mind where Nayuta didn’t have his scarf on and gave it to him. And the way Nayuta hugs him in the library feels like a sign of him not well. It was uncharacteristic of Nayuta and what he did today. It worries Ren to the core. The burden on his shoulder begins to engulf him. ‘Did Nayuta catch a cold?’

‘I wish it was but no. I don’t think so.’

Hearing the statement-making Wataru put his hand on his waist, tense by his brother's lack of empathy. ‘Pardon? You wish? Why would you want him to get sick?’

‘Because it’s easier to take care of a sick person than a heartbroken one.’ Kenta replies nonchalantly.

‘Did something happen to him? Nayuta doesn’t look well when he gave me his scarf…’ Ren wanted to mention his suspicion over the song Nayuta sang before but he held his tongue from saying anything. It would be wise to ask Nayuta by himself when the time let him. ‘Please send my regards to him. Tell him that he can call me if he is unwell.’

Kenta knew that Nayuta acting strange since they were in the library. It was all because of Ren. He didn’t know whether Ren was too oblivious or pretend by Nayuta to act toward him. It was a hard pass to not see Nayuta behave around Ren. It was obvious and he bet that Wataru could feel it too.

Telling Ren the actual reason why Nayuta acting different is much easier. But he wouldn’t do that. It’s not his job to tell Nayuta true feelings he had for Ren. Besides he was still unsure of why Nayuta leaving in hurried. ‘Sure, I’ll let him know.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight wataren| ah yes I ship yuuwata. Personally, I think they look cute together. Also riowata. I had a headcanon of making a love triangle between Rio, Wataru, and Yuuto. That’ll be cool idk. Anyway, the next chapter is almost the end of this story. And-I have to change to a mature genre after this. Feel free to share what you thought. Any comments are welcome here. :D


	7. His Last Resort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will happen when you gave your soul and your sanity away to greed? Nayuta was too tired with everything. He wanted to get drunk hoping his feeling will wash away together with the image of jealousy that planted on his stomach. Using the excuse of sobriety to confess. The only last straw he had is to give his everything to Ren.

‘I think you have enough. Give me that.’ Said Kenta. Both of them were back in the apartment where Nayuta decided to wash away his frustration with a drink. His whole day feels like a joke. Throwing away your feelings to someone shouldn’t be trouble. But it didn’t feel right for Nayuta. Every hint he gave out to Ren only left in avail. Possessing is a luxury he deemed to grab but it feels pointless to chase over it anymore when the person already had someone else.

‘Shut up.’ Nayuta replied with a low grumble. He swallows down his pride before finally voicing out his fear. ‘They kiss didn’t they?’

‘Who?’

‘Nanahoshi Ren and your brother.’ 

The sound of the clock ticking on the wall seems to sound clearer in Nayuta's ears. The reason for him to try making himself drunk was obvious. His head feels light, liberated from anything that troubling his throbbing heart and mind. To be drunk and be clueless of everything surrounding him is a blessing he needed to escape from. He just needs to drink more, just two more bottles or another. The idea of drinking never occur to him before and he didn’t know what it feels like to be drunk. He only did it because it is the only excuse that makes sense to him for now.

‘Look, I don’t know what you’re seeing. But I’m sure they’re just friends.’

‘Friend...’ Nayuta remember clearly of how carelessly Ren let Wataru hold his face or even be close to him. What kind of friend let others hold him in that way? He doubted it wholly. ‘Liar.’

‘You’re looking at things way too deep Nayuta.’

‘If not Wataru, then it must be Yuto.’

‘What?’

‘Rio or Banri.’ Nayuta muttered his eyes darted elsewhere, worried that Ren is in someone else arm.

Kenta took the drink from Nayuta immediately before he took another swig of it. ‘I’m not sure I know what you’re getting at. But if you like Nanahoshi Ren, tell him properly Nayuta. Did you want me to teach you how?’ Kenta leaned forward to Nayuta dauntingly face close to each other. ‘It’s not that hard to charm someone.’

‘Get off me.’ Nayuta pushed Kenta and took his drink on the table instead.

‘For how long would you want to keep your feeling by yourself. Go tell him... Time waits for no one. I don’t want you to regret anything.’

‘Shut up.’ He growled.

‘Holed yourself like this won’t solve anything.’

‘I said shut up!’

Kenta sighed throwing his hand in defeat. ‘Okay…Do what you want then.’ He got up and took two bottles of drink that haven’t opened yet.

‘Where are you taking those?’

‘Outside, away from your reach.’

‘Tch, you think I wouldn’t know where to find one even if you put it away’

The statement had made Kenta stop from his track and gave Nayuta a strictly look. ‘You being impossible Nayuta. Ren too. Both of you are infantile. I’m pretty sure Ren knows what you getting at if only you are more straightforward to him.’

Nayuta brows furrowed, resented, and irritated clouding his thoughts. He didn’t like to be advised by Kenta. It feels like an insult to him. ‘You can’t even communicate and keep a good relationship with your brother, what makes you think you could advise me in one.

‘And what makes you think you’re better than me Nayuta?’

There was a look of slight hurt in Kenta before he let out a deep sighed, letting go of his anger waiting to lash out at Nayuta brash words. ‘Brotherly relationship is different. ‘

‘Different. really?’ Nayuta snorted and reply immediately in a taunting voice that almost snapped the little sanity Kenta had.

‘Why are you trying so hard to hurt me? Nayuta, this is not about me. It’s...Whatever it is. At least start by taking care of your health. Your voice in particular. Arguing with Nayuta is a battle he didn’t want to fight in, not when he already felt exhausted for the long day they had. He changes the topic hoping Nayuta would give up in the childish quarrel instantly.

A silent note was the only reply Nayuta did to Kenta's remarks. He runs his finger through his hair in frustration. Messing it a little and huffed, knowing he can’t protest the truth in Kenta words.

‘I’ll be going out for a while. Do you want anything?’

Nayuta shook his head and batted his hand for Kenta to leave. He bought his knee closer to his chest, leaned his hand on his knee, and buries his face there. He felt heavy on his heart and he didn’t want Kenta to see him at his lowest even though Kenta has already seen enough.

‘I’ll bring back some food to help with the hangover. You sure you don’t want anything?’

‘I’m fine.’

‘Okay. I’ll take my leave now. Don’t do anything stupid when I’m not around. And Nayuta-Ren sends his regard. He told me you could call him if you need anything.

* * *

> _Ren send his regard? Ren?_

Nayuta heart skipped a bit at Ren name.

> _Ren. Nanahoshi Ren._

He growled clutching the fabric of his shirt and counted to ten. He could feel the soft pumping of his heartbeat as he tries to calm down his emotion.

Nayuta consumes only a few alcohols in his tab. He was still sober but feels his head spinning a little. If Kenta wouldn’t stop him, he might actually get really drunk. It was a great excuse to fall out of his sober side.

His mind drifted to a particular someone. Wonder if he calls him would that person show up. His brain started to rack the previous episodes in the library and the street performance they had. Helping Ren with his study, profusely let their skin touch yet kiss his forehead all for one particular reason. Hinting Ren to see that he had a crush on him. To let Ren notice that he genuinely cares about him. That he like Nanahoshi Ren more than just a friend. But Ren still couldn’t read along the line. Yet he had the audacity to be all-loving with another person in front of him. It pisses him off.

“Ren send you his regards. He said you can call him if you need anything.” Kenta words echoing at the back of his head. He remembers Ren said his oath to him with a pinky swear. Saying that he promises to be there for Nayuta when he needed him. ‘Will you really come if I call you Nanahoshi?’ Huffing, Nayuta knew he was being hopeful over Ren again even his heart already broken from his own assumption. He took out his phone, pick on Ren’s name, and within the second beep, Ren answer it.

‘Hello? Nayuta?’ Ren answered.

‘Nanahoshi... where are you?’

‘I’m on my way back from the studio. Has something happened?’ Ren noticed a bit slurred of Nayuta's speech added ’Did you get hurt?’

‘Meet me at my apartment. I want to see you.’

‘See me?’ Ren's voice feels so far away and soft that Nayuta almost didn’t hear what he say. ‘Is everything alright?’

Nayuta ended the phone call then silently praying Ren to show up. He felt silly for wanting Ren's attention. He feels silly for wanting Ren's attention. A second later, his phone lit up when a text came. It’s from Ren. He read it on his notifications that said ‘please wait for me. I’ll be there.’

* * *

‘What took you so long?’ Nayuta grunted, hand on the door inspecting Ren.

Ren huffed he was running on his way to Nayuta apartment. His hand to his knee heaving in and out heavily before he finally took a last deep breath and standing steadily, watching Nayuta stare hooded on him.

‘Are you alright Nayuta? Your voice doesn’t sound like you’re well.’

Nayuta couldn’t believe his eyes to see Ren really standing right in front of his door. He wanted to say a lot of things to him. But the only thing he could manage to say was ‘Notice me Nanahoshi.’

‘Eh, I already notice you Nayuta.’ Ren suspicions on Nayuta was real. Nayuta cheeks is in crimson color. He found that Nayuta doesn’t look well which made him feel bad about his condition. ‘Do you have a fever? I’ve got meds with me from Wataru. It could lessen your pain a little.’

Nayuta's eyes brows knitted together to form a frown when he heard Wataru's name. He grabbed Ren by the wrist pulling it closer to him. The stinking smell of alcohol on Nayuta slips into Ren wake.

‘You’re drunk.’

‘Look at me.’

‘I am.’ Ren couldn’t look Nayuta properly in the eye. The mixture of relief and annoyance surfacing and he didn’t want Nayuta to read his expression.

Nayuta huffed vaguely. His head dizzy and he didn’t catch the word from Ren's mouth. ‘Look at me.’ He repeated his words again.

‘I already did Nayuta kun. You’re drunk. Let’s go to your room’ Ren took Nayuta by the elbow and started to drag him inside. His eyes didn’t meet Nayuta. He feels that Nayuta wasn’t considerate and honest to him. He was worrying all over for Nayuta whereabout only to found him drunk in his own apartment and he didn’t even say sorry or concern of seeing Ren out of breath just to get here.

Nayuta grasped Ren hand stopping him further. ‘Nanahoshi! Look at me.’ He felt a sudden rage taking over him when Ren didn’t answer. Even when the truth is him actually not hearing it clearly. Both of them were staring at each other now

‘Do you notice me now?’

‘I notice you Nayuta kun.’

‘Then don’t give me that look of pity.’

‘I did not.’ Ren stops suddenly recalling the time he had hug Nayuta and giving him a sorry look. With the promise, he claimed to be there for Nayuta if he ever needs a shoulder to lean on. Ren let out a soft sighed knowing Nayuta was irked by his behavior before. ‘I never pity you Nayuta. I care of you. I don’t want to see you get hurt.’

‘Care to tell me why?’

‘You’re my friend. Of course, I care about you.’

‘Friend…?’

‘Uhn, friend.’

‘Just a friend?’

The question made Ren stop answering it bluntly. He considered his next words when he worked out another question instead of replying. ‘Am I saying the wrong things?’

Nayuta looks down on his feet feeling his emotions piling up. ‘I don’t want you to see me as a friend.’

‘You didn’t want to be my friend?’ Ren's voice came out like a broken doll. ‘I’m sorry if I’m a bother-‘

‘That’s not what I meant Nanahoshi.’ Nayuta gritted his teeth, now grabbing both of Ren wrists and laying his head on his shoulder. No matter how much Nayuta wanted to say he like Ren he just couldn’t bring himself from saying it out loud to him.‘Why are you so dumb?’

‘Dumb?’

‘Dumb lamb.’

Ren pulled away from his hand from Nayuta's grasp, took his forearm, and slowly making Nayuta walk to his room. This is not the first time Ren came to the apartment, so he knew where Nayuta's room situated. He was grateful for the thought as he staggered a little because of Nayuta's body leaning to his for support.

‘Why would you call me a dumb lamb?’ said Ren frustrated.

‘I just want to.’

‘Well, this dumb lamb comes right after you call me. I guess I really am dumb to help you. I’ll be gone in a jiffy you don’t have to worry…We’re here Nayuta.’

Nayuta hand rested on the wall for support but Ren took them so he could lead Nayuta to bed. Nayuta hold on to their hand clumsily and leaned down to Ren. It startled Ren but he froze when he sees the look in his eyes.

‘Nayuta kun... what’s wrong?’

‘Don’t you want to know why I call you a dumb lamb?

‘Why? Because I look like a fool to you?’ Ren sarcastically answers him; try to humor him in his silly question.

‘Do you know who hunts lamb?

The question made Ren pondering for a while before answering him. ‘Hunter, A carnivorous animal. Fox?’

‘Easy prey.’

‘If I’m a dumb lamb then you’re a-a silly, sly fox.’

‘Sly fox?’ Nayuta let out a stifled laugh. ‘You do get it don’t you.’

‘I don’t.’

‘That’s why you’re a lamb. Dumb lamb.’ He chuckles ‘I like that sound. It suits you.’ Nayuta imagine Ren was a foolish lamb. Who was too naive with the surroundings and will be eaten by a sly fox. A lamb that would get lost without anyone telling him where to go right on its face and Nayuta was the sly fox. Waiting for the time to eat Ren. His mind was thinking to play dirty to get Ren like him. He gave out all clues to Ren by showing his soft side, helping him, care for him more than he did for himself and even sing a confession song to Ren. And Ren still didn’t get him. It was discouraging. He was out of clues and ideas.

Something really dark seeps into his wake. He remembers the time where he saw Ren carelessly let Wataru hold him by his face and lips. _“is that what you want Nanahoshi? Do you like to be touch by others? Is that the only way for me to make you notice me?”_

‘What’s up with this Dumb Lamb of yours. I came all the way here worrying and you call me dumb?’

Nayuta brows furrowed realizing he had made Ren upset by calling him that. He was still hurting that he didn’t realize how genuine Ren care for him. ‘Because you’re really dumb Nanahoshi.’ You didn’t see how desperate I am trying to make you notice me.

‘Is that the way to express kindness? By insulting me..’

Nayuta abruptly hold Ren by the wrist firmly from dragging him further. Then whispered. ‘I didn’t mean to make you upset. I’m sorry…I just-I want you to notice me Nanahoshi.’

Bewilderment hit Ren right on his head when he heard Nayuta words. Nayuta was totally not being himself. He kept on repeating the same word over again. “Notice me.” He also said sorry for hurting him. It did occur to him wasn’t it a person becomes vulnerable to their feelings when they’re drunk? Does this mean Nayuta's feelings were real that he wanted Ren to notice him? Ren grabs Nayuta's shoulder and dragged him forcefully to his bed. ‘You need to rest. You’re drunk.’ He insisted wiping away all the thoughts he had on him.

‘I don’t want to. I’m not drunk.’ Nayuta protested trying to get away from Ren hold.

‘Okay, you’re not drunk.’ Ren was too tired to argue with Nayuta's childishness. He just relentlessly accepted what Nayuta had in mind.

‘I’m not.’ Nayuta suddenly pulls Ren by his forearm to the bed trapping him under him. He intently looks at Ren right in his eyes, imagining to say the words _.” Don’t you get it…I like you Nanahoshi Ren”_ but instead of saying so Nayuta buried down his fear and give in to the only shot, he could think of. He will have Ren tonight but he will test him first if he has to. ‘I won’t let you leave until you notice me.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp
> 
> I personally had a headcanon that Nayuta is a stubborn fellow. Not the type who would confess easily to Ren over his feeling. He probably will let his guard down when he is half-drunk or so. that's where the image came to life and how this created hehe.


	8. Denial and Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -

Warm flush rush on Ren’s cheeks. The closeness between them did not do him justice. He shifted a little but Nayuta took a hold of his wrist bringing it up above his head. His grasp was surprisingly firm even though he was drunk Ren though.

The tension and the heavy air Ren felt had him imagining Nayuta intended to do forbidden things to him. It was ridiculous. Ren was naive but he knows how a couple acts. The scene of a lover making love is not a foreign image. He had seen one more or less but never experienced it before. No matter how curious Ren in the topic he never dives in too deep and tries it out with others. A relationship is a complicated thing. He never really care about how two people fall in love. But seeing the look and being held down by Nayuta had ignited that strange feeling rested on his chest.

> _Thump, Thump, Thump_

The beating of his heartbeat could be heard on his eardrum. Ren took a single breath he didn’t know he was holding and said his concern. ‘Are you…mad at me?’

‘No..’ Nayuta's voice was a mixture of control and resentment. ‘Tell me... Did you really did not notice me this whole time?’

‘I don’t understand. I acknowledge Nayuta kun-.’

‘That’s not enough wasn’t it?’

‘It’s enough. I’ve always admired how passionate you are on stage and writing music. Something that not even in my level yet...’ He could feel Nayuta's hand grabbing him and interlacing their fingers together.

> _Thump, Thump, Thump_

The sound of Ren’s heartbeat feels like it going to leap out of his chest. Nayuta's hand was cold compare to his warm one. Strange. It should be him with the cold hand because of the weather outside but it was the other way around. Was Nayuta not feeling well?

A soft sigh left Nayuta's mouth shutting away Ren though. ‘But that’s not what I meant by noticing me Nanahoshi..’

‘Your hand is cold… You sure you’re not sick Nayuta?’ Ren muttered trying to stay focus on Nayuta's eyes instead of the warmth on their hand.

‘I’m not.’

‘Then just tell me what it is. I’m not good at reading along the line. I promise to help you out, don’t you remember. Just tell me what you need, I help you..’

Nayuta shook his head hating Ren’s tone showed how insensible he sees things. ‘What can you do by helping me? With what?’

‘You can talk to me if there’s anything bothering you. We can go out as well or just hang out and do nothing at all. Whatever pleased you.’

‘Whatever please me?’

Ren nodded, there was a flash of anger in Nayuta's expression before he swiftly changes it to his irritated façade. ‘Anything at all? Even the selfish one?’

Ren nodded again. ‘Anything. I stay with you here. I can make your coffee too but that would be too much in your state. Maybe you need to take a rest. Uhn, that will do. Just a little rest.’

‘Rest…’ Nayuta breath and chuckled darkly at himself. ‘You’re proposing me a rest when we're in this position.’

‘Position…?’ A flash image of one of the manga scene Ren read came to his mind. He blushes and tries to pull his hand away from Nayuta's grasp but only left in vail.

‘...What kind of position?’

Nayuta leaning closer invaded the space of privacy between them. ‘I want you Nanahoshi.’

‘Want-‘

‘I want you to fulfill your promise’

‘Oh...of course!’ Ren couldn’t think straight and immediately answered him. ‘Ask away. If you need me to buy anything to help you with the hangover I can go to the nearest store for you.’ Ren nodded to himself looking at his side and back at Nayuta who never left his gaze on him. ‘Ah, but you look ill I think it’s better if you take a rest.’

‘I’m not ill Nanahoshi..’ Nayuta sighed clearly frustrated at Ren’s take of his behavior.

‘Okay. You are not.’

‘I’m not.’ Nayuta's eyes barely opened but he tries to stay awake by squinting. He could see two Ren but one seems more visible when he did so. ‘I want to hold you...’

‘Hold me?’

Nayuta slowly slips his arm on the back of Ren's back pulling him closer for a hug.

‘Nayuta kun...’

Nayuta grunted the breach of his nose touched Ren's neck down to his collarbone. ‘I want to hold you.’

‘Okay.’

‘I want to h-‘

‘I know Nayuta you can you already did.’

Nayuta nodded as if assuring himself. After a few minutes of silence, Ren thought Nayuta had fallen asleep. The silence that embedded them seems surreal to Ren. He didn’t think that he would see this side of him. His hand snaking up to Nayuta's hair stroking them gently. It was soft and Ren once again engulfed with Nayuta’s scent. The closeness between them and his bedsheet. It was like lying in Nayuta's personal chamber. A warm flush made its way on Ren’s cheek. He IS in Nayuta chamber. It shall be fine. It’s fine. They’re not doing anything, right? Nayuta just looks so vulnerable in this state. He can’t even walk properly to his room without Ren's help.

But then Nayuta suddenly spoke breaking down the silence. His voice was barely above whispered when he called Ren name. ‘Nanahoshi...’

‘Yes? Nayuta.’

‘I can ask whatever I want from you...’

Ren nodded noting in approval. ‘Uhn-‘

‘So let me hold you.’

‘Sure.’ Ren said in relief. He expected Nayuta to ask him any odd questions or hearing him breaking down. It was good to know that Nayuta just tired Ren thought.

‘Let me hold you.’

‘Uhn you can.’

Ren feels a bit irked by Nayuta repetition words but he still answers him nevertheless. It would be troublesome if Nayuta started to throw tantrums again only because Ren did not answer him.

‘Let me have you. Can I have you?

‘Okay. You can, you can ha-...w-wait.’ Ren could feel Nayuta's lips and warm breath brushing his collarbone. Goosebumps running down on the back of his neck and hand. The warm breath tingling on his skin.

‘I can have you?’

‘Have?’

Nayuta just groaned in response and closing their gap.

‘Wait, I heard it wrong Nayuta kun uh”-’

Nayuta gave a slow yet assuring kiss on Ren's collarbone. Then feel a sticky warmth of his tongue touch his skin. His heartbeat started to pick up when he feels Nayuta's teeth sunken to his skin. Nayuta was biting him. A slow steady move but eventually left mark on it. He was taking his time, savoring every minute he got to taste Ren's skin.

Ren squirmed under him realizing that Nayuta's choice of words before in ‘hold’ change to ‘have’. Nayuta wants to ‘ _have’_ him. He already marking him as his. Ren didn’t really catch what Nayuta mean by having him but he understands it clearly now. Trapped and wonder waiting right at the end of the tunnel. Ren could imagine how this would end. It’s a thrilling and scary shortcoming.

‘Ugh Nayuta...’

Ren squirmed more, clutching Nayuta's clothes as he feels the smacking of his lips still lingering over his skin. A heavy sighed escaped Ren’s mouth when he felt Nayuta was done marking him. He was left dazed, meeting Nayuta drunk like face.

‘What was that for...’

‘I’m marking you’

‘W-Why did you mark me? Don’t you have someone else...? I promise to help you but I-I don’t want to be your option...’

‘You never were an option to me Nanahoshi.’

Before Ren could ask him further, Nayuta let his lips lingered on Ren’s neck and fervently kisses it. Ren feels his skin was burning and let out a low whimper.

Then Ren feels Nayuta's hand slip under his clothes. The enthralling touch made him jump in surprise. It touches his hips and up to his rib cage. Worried about what comes next, Ren stopped him further by holding to his hand. Nayuta huffed disapprovingly but didn’t advance his move.

‘Wait. Nayuta-‘

‘I can have you right? You told me I can?’

‘Nayuta you-‘

‘Answer me.’

‘I-‘ Ren feels like the words choking him. He promises to help Nayuta with his trouble. Is this what he meant by trouble? By letting Nayuta have him?

‘What’s troubling you. Tell me.. what do you mean by me not being your option?’

‘If you hate me touching you then just go.’

‘No that’s not what I meant. I just want to know why you did this. You shouldn’t do this with me...if you didn’t mean it.’

‘I mean it. I told you that I want you Nanahoshi. I want you. I’m marking you as mine and you are not an option.. so what can you make out from that?’

It took a moment for Ren to sink in the words into his mind. Deep down in Ren’s heart, he knew what Nayuta meant by having him. He’s not an entire fool. But he wanted to hear the words of assurance from Nayuta of what he felt toward him. Liking and confessing to someone your feeling is a fragile thing. If the other person didn’t feel the same way, then what’s the point in telling.

Ren moves a little trying to distract himself. ‘Does that mean... That you use me to get rid of your problem?’

‘No! Nanahoshi-‘ Nayuta nostril was flaring. Ren really testing his frustration which makes him gone into a red bull. ‘I-‘ The look of longing was portrayed in Nayuta's caring look and Ren could feel the sincerity in it by responding to hold their hand firmer.

‘Do you like me?’ Said Ren whispering as if the words could be poison to both of them.

‘You’ll not accept me if I say it.’

‘What makes you think that? If Nayuta kun be honest to me-’

‘I just want to hold you Nanahoshi. Let me.’ Exclaimed Nayuta cutting away Ren’s words. He was afraid of the answer waiting for him.

Ren shook his head. As much as the idea excited him as well it also could be an omen when Nayuta sober again. He didn’t want their friendship ruin because Nayuta not being himself when he was drunk. ‘You’re not being yourself Nayuta. You need to rest.’

‘I don’t want to. I’m not drunk Nanahoshi. I’m not.’

‘Okay, you’re not. You’re not drunk. You just tired.’

‘I’m tired..? Am I? I’m no... I’m not! Nanahoshi.’

‘Okay, it’s okay Nayuta. You’re not tired you’re not drunk. You can hold me but you need to rest. It’s okay if you didn’t want to tell me’ said Ren his voice trailing into a soft whispered. Ren was disappointed a little. He just wanted to hear the truth from Nayuta's mouth.

* * *

‘I can hold you, Nanahoshi.’ Nayuta's hand went up to Ren's chest tasting the sensitive skin his.

‘Wait-Nayuta-‘ Ren panicking pushing Nayuta by the shoulder but failed as he moves closer. ‘I mean, hold means you can hug me, no I mean, yes, I.. not yes, no-you can hug me while you rest. I’ll be right here. I-’ the stuttering and the words that came out of Ren show how frustrated he was for being held that way. He couldn’t help it. Not when Nayuta already touching him.

‘I’m not drunk.’ Nayuta said looking directly at Ren. The gaze in Nayuta's hand made him believe in him. But Nayuta was reeking with the smell of alcohol all over him. Ren feels that it too soon to assume that Nayuta likes him but his eyes, the intent stare make Ren whishing otherwise.

Ren still unsure what he felt towards Nayuta but the way he was marking him before was consciously pleasurable. He never felt that way and it feels nice despite the pain. Nayuta hand cusping Ren’s chest. Shutting away any thoughts Ren had on him. It made goosebumps run down his spine. He let out a low gasp already feeling Nayuta's finger playing around with his nipples.

‘I want you to notice me.’

Ren couldn't reply and only let out a soft cry feeling his nipple harden at Nayuta's tease.

‘Nanahoshi, why are you keep pulling the strings? Why did you tell me I can hold you but I can’t have you. Because-‘ he rested his forehead to Ren. ‘I want to have you. I want to hear you call my name…‘ he let his head rested on the side of Ren's face while his thumb listlessly pleasing Ren’s nipple. The sound that came from Ren was ragged, his breathing became erratic when he feels Nayuta finger pinching him in his touch. He was doing so while biting on Ren’s ear which slowly turned warmer.

‘Stop...’ Ren finally found his own voice, breathing became cames out short and Nayuta stopped after a few more teases. Enough to make Ren went red. What Nayuta did just turn him on. Ren holds on to Nayuta's hand to stop him but Nayuta took his wrist and pinned him down. The shirt on Ren had been lifted revealing his skin. Nayuta let his eyes ravel on Ren’s bare chest. He could see Ren was trembling. Obviously affected by what he did.

Ren knew that he could push Nayuta weight because of his drunkenness but the look in Nayuta's eyes stop him from doing so. The adoration in his eyes reflected in Ren and he never seen him with that look.

‘Do you get me now Nanahoshi?’ Nayuta blurted out the first question that pops out of his mind.

‘You want me?’

‘I’m trying to impress you this whole time and you still didn’t get me’

‘Impress me? You mean at the library?’

‘And a scarf.’ ‘The song I made.’

‘Song..?’

‘It’s you.’

‘… I didn’t know the song was for me... that person in the song.. is me? Surely it must be someone else... I thought you were being friendly...’Ren mumbled realizing that what Nayuta did was more than a friendly affection. Most of all he just wants to make sure if Nayuta really did like him.

‘Tch. Friendly?’ Nayuta let his finger trailing over the mark he made on Ren’s neck and collarbone. ‘Does this means friendly to you as well?’ his hand went down to Ren’s chest and let his fingertip brush over his nipple. ‘Does it?’

Ren let out a soft sound looking away from him. Embarrassment and guilty embedded in his heart. He enjoys Nayuta's touch but he didn’t want to admit it in fear that Nayuta only did it only to tease him. ‘Of course not. But Nayuta you-‘

Nayuta hold Ren’s face, his eyes dilated to his tremble lips. Wondering what it feels like to taste them. He didn’t think much as he moves closer, letting his lips brushing Ren soft lips. It was a chaste kiss. Nayuta didn’t kiss him further but just let his gaze and hear the heavy breath from Ren. Ren’s adam apple moves slightly and licks his lower lips in a response to the peck. To his surprise, Ren was looking at his lips too like he wanted Nayuta to have him. Nayuta let his lips brush over Ren again hesitating but when he didn’t show any signs of refusal he closes their gap appreciatively. The soft scent, sweat, and breath engulfed him instantly. Nayuta took Ren full mouth in his cusping him like he was the air that could lift him up.

The kiss filled Nayuta's aching heart. All of the weariness and his insecurity wash away. He could feel Ren’s pulse quickened when his hand traveling down his neck, nape, and the back of his hair. Grasping his soft hair gently so Ren will not tilt his head away from him. Only him.

Ren’s bottom lips quiver making Nayuta run his thumbs on it figuring it’ll soothe his nerves. Both of them are taking time to breathe before Nayuta pulled Ren for another kiss.

Nayuta was really gentle in his kiss. He let Ren take his breath between kisses and lead him gently. The warmth on Ren’s lips was the most enticing part he ever wants. He had really soft lips. More. He wants more of Ren.

‘Nayuta kun-' Ren's voice wavered when he feels Nayuta's hand making its way under his shirts. Clumsily but calculating. Ren was too busy catching up to the kiss that he didn’t find Nayuta's move disturbing. He never kisses anyone before and he likes being kiss by him. It was nice. And he enjoys the warmth that came out from his companion.

Nayuta slowly let his hand down to his chest then the cleavage of Ren’s hips. he started to unzipped Ren’s trouser, pulling it down to his thighs leaving him with his underwear. He broke away the kisses by kissing Ren's skin from his cheeks, neck, collarbone, and down to his hips. Every kiss left by Nayuta making goosebumps crawling down his guts. Catching his breath to the fullest, Ren realizes that Nayuta was now between his barren leg. Nothing to cover his limps but his underwear.

* * *

The sight of Ren hardens dick conflicted Nayuta in triumph and hesitation.

‘Nayuta kun what are you—‘

‘It’s hard.’

Ren blushed furiously at the obvious. He replied quickly and hastily ‘I can explain. You’re teasing me before. I couldn’t help it.’

‘What do you think of me?’ Nayuta gets impatient with the whole situation. He was done playing the charade of guessing and winning Ren’s heart. Even though he was the sole fault for not being honest and confess to Ren in his face. But he didn’t see his defect in the situation. All he sees was Ren kept giving him false hope and hint and he had enough of care over them. He would push Ren with lust. It was a selfish move but he didn’t care anymore.

Ren bites his lower lips that started to tremble a little. His lips were swollen a little due to the kisses they had. Nayuta seems so out of his character to Ren. He didn’t want Nayuta to do anything stupid when he’s not sober. Although Ren had already let him kiss and mark him. And he knew Nayuta meant well of having him. Nayuta like him and he felt the same but doing something more than that feels wrong even though Nayuta was the one who made the move. ‘You’re clearly drunk Nayuta, let’s stop this.‘

Nayuta didn’t utter a single word but his hand slowly spreading Ren’s leg who didn’t protest and let his hand rested on his tights. He waited for Ren to say something instead Ren look away mortified of what might come next. ‘Stop teasing me.’

‘I’m not’ Nayuta feel Ren was challenging him. He didn’t like the denial in Ren's voice and begin to pull down his boxer. Revealing Ren’s stick pointing straight at him to touch. He holds it gently sending shudders and making ren jump.

‘Nayuta!’

‘I won’t do it. You ask me to stop teasing. And I’m. I won’t do it. Not until you give me your consent.’

Ren let his eyes on Nayuta that waiting for him patiently. He was right in between his leg with his hand now rested on his hardened cock. Like a loyal sly cat waiting for his master's order. ‘I’m..’ Scare? Confused? Ren feels the words stuck in his throat. He can just cast away Nayuta's offer but there’s something more to it. Nayuta beautiful finger was holding him. He was holding it. What more can he ask for?

‘I didn’t know how this work. Please do it gently.’

Nayuta didn’t have to ask him twice. The approval was enough. All of his doubt of Ren doesn’t matter for now. He wanted to touch and please him. And maybe just maybe It’ll ignite the spark he had on Ren.

Nayuta's hand started to hold Ren’s harden dick. Tracing along the line of his skin. It was a cool and gentle move and Ren feel it was the sweetest erotic feeling he ever felt. Getting bolder, Nayuta begins to let his fingers wrap around it and squeeze. It’s enough to send Ren over the edge. His breath hitches arching his back for more.

‘Just do it... I beg... I gave you my consent.’

Nayuta hummed pleased of hearing the words. The finger of his hold it gently, moving it up and down deliberately. Slowly but gradually fast. His wrist started to working in circles sending Ren to clutch the fabric of the bedsheet, mourning in pleasure and delight. A musical to Nayuta ear.

Ren could feel himself getting closer and closer. It only a minute more of him to come fast and hard to Nayuta's hand.

‘Nayuta kun..’ Ren holds Nayuta's hand to stop his movement. ‘...stop i-I might come…’ Ren was shaking badly, he was holding it and his breath came out short.

‘Isn’t that the point?’

Ren blushed hard at Nyuta words that don’t have any filter. ‘I d-don’t want you to see it. It feels dirty.'

‘It’s not.’ Nayuta stated his hand shifted to move even faster. Jacking it off to his liking.

‘Stop…’ Ren hold on to Nayuta hand panting hard.

‘I didn’t like denial Nanahoshi. Make up your mind. Your word didn’t align with your reaction at all. Tell me you want to cum in my mouth.’

Ren shook his head fervently. ‘It just-you drunk, I don’t want you to feel that way. It sounds vulgar. You’ll choke yourself ugh-‘ he could feel Nayuta thumbs teasing his shaft. That’s it. He could feel it coming. He couldn’t hold it anymore.

The warm liquid of Ren’s cum had covered all over Nayuta's fingers. Nayuta didn’t bother with the mess he made and keep on moving his hand to what he felt pleasing him in Ren. Ren heaved out a heavy sighed trying to compose himself but failed tremendously. He felt helpless, powerless but whole by the tantalizing moves he felt being touch by Nayuta.

As soon as Nayuta felt it enough he stopped, held out his wet hand, and lick them.

Ren gasped at the sight ‘Nayuta kun...!’

‘Let me.’ Nayuta pushes him again.

‘But-‘

‘All of you. I want it.’

‘Nayuta kun-I-‘

It was a hard decision for Ren. But he wants Nayuta to feel him. He wants it. The look and constant touch from Nayuta had made it hard for Ren to refuse. Ren took a deep shaky breath his voice cracking a little when he spoke ‘Be-gentle.’

Like obeying a command, Nayuta moves closer and let his lips touch the tip of Ren's shaft. Kissing it a few times before finally taking it in his mouth.

Ren could feel Nayuta mouth on him, working it up and down. He could feel his warm tongue curled, sliding against his wet skin in a way he never feels possible before. He was really good at this Ren though.

Ren let out a sound he never knew he could make them. Profusely pleading out to Nayuta's name and moaned in between. His hand clasped Nayuta hair while intently watching him eating him up. He could see the risen and fall of Nayuta's shoulder sucking him. It was an odd sight, a guilty pleasure, he deemed too long for.

The air in the room felt heavy and only the sound of Ren moaning could be heard. Ren was enjoying ...Wrapped in the bubble of clouds that he didn’t care about how indecent he sounds. While Nayuta busily filling him up. Ren could feel the second orgasm coming. ‘Nayuta-‘ Before he could say to warn him Nayuta already choking

‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I can’t control it.’

Nayuta still coughing struggling to swallow Ren’s warmth down his throat.

‘I’m sorry. It must be bad. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry..I-Are you alright?‘ Ren feels a mixture of worry and guilt took over him. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt you. I-‘

But then Nayuta grabs Ren's member, licking every each of him. As if leaving it unaided will waste him. Ren breath hitches still holding on to him in his arm. The gleam in Nayuta's eyes having him had made him felt different.

As soon as Nayuta has done licking every of Ren’s cum, he turned his attention back to his eyes. ‘You taste sweet.’

‘Sweet?’ Ren let out a breathy sound and swallowed knowing that he was affected by what Nayuta did to him.

Nayuta nodded kissing Ren’s dick, letting his lips lingered there a few minutes and just watch how Ren flustered at his act. Nayuta moving closer then cusped Ren's face in his arm. Seeing Ren's ragged breathing and blushed face for him to see. He enjoys the look immensely. From what he expects it he knew it was Ren first time and he feels he is the luckiest person able to taste Ren. ‘Nanahoshi, you like it don’t you.’

‘Uhn.’ Ren answer without thinking. His mind was still alive with the sensation he had never felt before.

‘Tell me, what do you feel toward me? What am I to you.’

‘How much drink do you take?’

‘Nanahoshi, don’t change the topic. Answer me.’

‘Because I don’t want you to hear what I thought when you’re not sober enough.’

Frowning, Nayuta didn’t know what to say. Nayuta was quite sober, if he’s not sober enough he wouldn’t do such things to Ren. His head still spinning and he was really close to shutting his eyes but he could feel Ren’s warmth underneath him vividly. The only reasons that keep him awake till now. The action he did was sorely by half of his soberness. Every touch and sound that came from Ren sending chills to his spine. He wants more of Ren. ‘Just answer me.’

‘I want a sober Nayuta to me to hear me out.’

‘I am sober Nanahoshi!’ Nayuta tightens his hold on Ren’s wrist.

Ren yelped at the sudden force. ‘N-Nayuta wouldn’t hurt me.’

As if getting shot by the head, Nayuta realizes that he had gone too far. There was a fear in Ren’s eyes despite the flush on his cheeks. Ren looking so vulnerable under him with his milky skin exposed for him to devoured but not possess. It’s a thrilling apposition, a shortcoming that comforting yet horrifying to dwell in.

‘Does the other guy hold you this way?’

‘Other guy?’

‘The person you like. Did you let him hold you as I did?’ Nayuta couldn’t bring himself to mention his jealousy over Wataru and Argonavis for having Ren all the time.

Silent is the only thing resided on both ends of Nayuta and Ren. Nayuta felt heavy of the thought and his dizziness adding up to his annoyance. He could see Ren’s throat bobbing a little, probably swallowing his fear.

‘Tell me. Please...’ Nayuta pleaded his voice cracking. He holds Ren’s face with both of his hand eyes casting to his lips. He wanted to kiss Ren again so much but he can’t bring himself to do so if Ren didn’t say he likes him. Now that he made Ren notice him, he was afraid if Ren wouldn’t want to accept his kiss after the question being asked. Marking Ren as his belonging and kissing him is a different level. Ren let him have him but he still didn’t have Ren's heart.

Nayuta leaned down to Ren’s neck and lick him there teasingly making Ren letting out a soft moan. ‘Is it selfish of me to have you?’ Nayuta let his hand rested to the side of Ren’s face and give him a brief kiss on the forehead before pulling him closer for an embrace. ‘What are we Nanahoshi? You let me have you in my arm. Makes me feel whole and you didn’t want to answer me, why...

‘I didn't say I hate you. Nayuta kun-‘

'Stay. Just stay. Your silence before means a lot Nanahoshi…I know I can’t have you like others do but let me hold you for once.’

Nayuta could feel Ren hand move a little under him and feeling it hugging him back.

‘I will stay.’ Ren confessed.

There Ren goes again by giving him mix hope. There’s too many if in the possibility and it was a dangerous fleet. Nayuta knows he shouldn’t linger on Ren's feelings towards him. Mutual or not, both of it was too dangerous to dwell on... At least he can pretend that he didn’t remember anything the next day. Forgetting everything that had happened. Live in denial and only hurt with a tad of hope straying in his heart.

‘Do you really meant it all? About having me..of holding me that way..?’

Ren was left with only silent siding him to the answer he longing for Nayuta to answer but didn’t give. After a few moments of contemplating, Ren heard a soft voice came out from Nayuta-‘Yes. Everything that I did I mean it. _I like you, Nanahoshi Ren_.’

The confession felt surreal in Ren’s ear. Asahi Nayuta like him? Everything that they did was genuine then. “Like lovers do” Wataru words echoing at the back of Ren’s mind. A reminder that break him free from his innocence.

His hand wrapped around Nayuta's frame, feeling his companion, soft snore, and slow rising of Nayuta breathing. He’s asleep. Ren feels ashamed that he actually wanted more from Nayuta touch. What’s adding more was not being able to reply back to Nayuta's confession because he was too stumped. So many things at once had his mind hard to process everything.

The affection they share before seems to make Ren hopeful of their relationship. He does like Nayuta. He was certain of his feelings more when Nayuta did all those things to him. he would talk to him tomorrow if he can.

Trap between lust and desire that Ren had never felt before was a peculiar feeling. His mind can’t think of anything but only Nayuta and how he had pleases him. A rewarding conscious. The only thing worrying him is whether Nayuta really is drunk and will forget everything they ever did tonight. The thoughts of it hurt him. He closes his eyes slowly letting the darkness take over his body and mind. Minutes more pass and Ren opens his mouth knowing no one could hear him but heaven above. _**‘Nayuta kun, I notice you. I have always noticed you**_.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might go to horny jail for this. Pspspspspsp
> 
> Thank you for reading this till the end. Throwing you virtual confetti and love! I actually had done the last two chapters alone in Notice Me and it should be originally posted in two parts only. But I like slow romance and consensual consent so I rewrite the whole thing and add a few an unplanned chapter(chapters 1-6).
> 
> I'm thinking to make it longer. But I don’t want it to sound boring so ill stop here. Unless if I change my mind and keep on writing it. But I’ll be on hiatus probably for a month or so because it was hard for me to write lately with a tight schedule. I’ll write another one of them probably the one-shot moment.
> 
> For you who stumble to read this till the end, know that your existence is a bless and you’re an amazing person! Keep on thriving what you do & I wish you be happy always. 😆

**Author's Note:**

> I still miss them :''))


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